Miles to go before I die

Often I think of my learning, that the learning that I have learnt in my past life is being enjoyed. As I believe I have born to enjoy the life, so I should try to enjoy everything. I think, many of lessons that I have learnt in my past life are not learnt by me properly and I came to know them and remembered for some time (may be for some years). I have remembered them . many things are still in memory. but I have not learnt them. Until I will learn them properly, I can't enjoy my learning. I am talking about the learning that I had started to learn from my birth and I will keep on learning until I die. The important thing is that I have to learn a lot of things as soon as possible , so that I could have a lot of life to enjoy them. I think it is difficult understand.
When a small baby is taught by mother, it doesn't know any language. It does not know how to remember things, even doesn't know whether some learning is going on. Mother teaches her baby without any known Language, their communication can be used by only them. Baby's mind is clear and doesn't have any confusion. Mother keeps on her teaching continue without any intention. That learning of baby is the most efficient learning. Everything go on with enjoy only. there is no hard work, no confusion. I have not learnt Newton's Laws like that baby. I have not learnt Archimedes Principle like that baby. I am not as much honest as that baby. I have forgotten how to be sincere. I have not learnt moral education like that. With my age, I have forgotten the art of being tension free like that baby.
I was told not to be angry because anger destroys our own health. At that time I didn't understand this. I just understood that anger is not good thing and we should not be angry. But I didn't learn not be angry. I knew it anger eats the angry person. I knew a lot of things about anger. but I got angry many times. If I would have learnt this thing , I would not get angry any time. that is the example in which I have to forget to not to be angry. Now, next example, I was told not to steal any thing. I tried to learnt this . this thing was easy to learn that why I got it easily but I didn't use my mind that if some wants his own things to be stolen and it is good for some one ,like it is necessary to save one,s life , then what should I do? this is very rare case but I should be ready for every case,but I think I should know all possibilities to enjoy my life properly. I was told not to speak lie. but if some lie is good enough to save some one's life. then should I speak truth. I just had remembered that we should not speak lie. I had not learnt it.
there are a lot of things that I have to learn as soon as possible. I have to learn how to control my feelings. these should not be expressed without my permission. these should be hidden when I want. but they are not controlled by me. I become happy when I get some good news. I have to learn not to be happy. I have to learn not to be upset or angry. I have to learn how to be a machine. I have to learn how to not love some one very close very dear. I have to learn how to not get depressed. I have to learn how to hate someone. this features are still in me but not in my control. these work automatically. A long journey is still waiting for me to be traveled and completed very soon. Still I don't know how to get away from my parents forever. when I will learn all these things, I will use use them according to theory of maximum enjoyment. I have to learn how to hate some, it doesn't mean I will hate some one. I just want to reign on me.